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Welcome, this web site is provided by Steven J. Mrakovich .
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WHAT A TRAFFIC JAM
Other day I went into the local religious book store, where I saw a "honk if you love Jesus" bumper sticker. I bought it and put it on the back bumper of my car, and I-m really glad I did. What an uplifting experience followed! I stopped at a light at a busy intersection, just lost in thoughts of the Jesus, and I didn't notice that the light had changed. That bumper sticker really worked! The guy behind me started to honk like crazy. He must really love the Jesus because pretty soon, he leaned out of his window and yelled "Jesus Christ" as loud as he could. It was like a football fame, with his shouting, "Go Jesus Christ Go." Everyone else was honking too, so I leaned out my window and waved and smiled to all those loving people. There must have been a guy from Florida back there because I could hear him yelling something about a "sunny beach". And I saw him waving in a funny way with his middle finger stuck up in the air. I asked my two kids what that meant, they squirmed, looked at each other, giggled and told me that it was the Hawaiian good luck sign, so I leaned out the window and gave him the good luck sign back. Several cars behind, a very nice large man stepped out of his car and yelled something. I couldn't hear him very well, but it sounded like "mother trucker" or mother from there. Maybe he was from Florida too. He must really love the Jesus. A couple of the people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that they got out of their cars and were walking toward me. I bet they wanted to pray, but just then I noticed the light had changed to yellow, and I stepped on the gas. And a good thing I did, because I was the only driver to get across the intersection. I looked back at them standing there. I leaned way out the window, gave them a big smile and held up the Hawaiian good luck sign and I drove away. Praise the Jesus for all. Such a wonderful people we are.
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Blondie
A Blondie walks into a bank in New York city and asks for the loan officer. She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000.
The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the Blondie hands over the key to a new Rolls Royce parked on the street in front of the bank.
Everything checks out, and the bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan.
Manager drives the Rolls into the bank's secured underground garage and parks it there.
All at the bank employs have a good laugh at the Blondie for using a $250,000 Rolls as collateral against a $5,000 loan.
Two weeks later, the Blondie returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which come to $5,035.00. The loan officer says, Miss we checked you record and found that you are a multimillionaire, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?
The Blondie replies, "where else in New York can I park my car for two weeks in secured parking for $35.00?
Finally, a smart Blondie.
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Mostly for Men
Marriage is a 3-ring circus: Engagement ring, wedding ring, suffe-ring.
A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs. A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn't need.
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money that his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot & not try to understand her at all.
Married men live longer than single men, but married men are more often willing to die.
Any married man should forget his mistakes, there's no use in two people remembering the same thing forever.
Men wake up as good-looking as when he went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
There are 2 times when a man doesn't understand a woman, before marriage and after marriage.
Smart man + smart woman = romance Smart man + dumb woman = affair Dumb man + smart woman = pregnancy
Smart boss + smart employee = profit Smart boss + dumb employee = production Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? A woman who can't afford a washing machine will not be able to support you.
How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me ...."
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, Who do you let in first? The dog, of course, he'll shut up once you let him in.
I haven't spoken to my wife for 5 hours: I don't like to interrupt her.
Why do men die before their wives? Because they want to.
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once. She will remind you, you will newer forget it again.
Women will never be equal to men. Until they can walk down the street with a bold head and a beer belly, and still think they are irresistible.
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Mostly for Women
Wife vs. Husband
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of cows, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours? "Yep, --- --- in-laws."
W O R D S A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day when speaking to a man... 3,000 and a man uses 500 words. She replied "the reason has to be, we have to repeat everything to men..." The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"
Creation A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time." The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me, God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you."
Who Does What A man and his wife were having an discussion who should brew the coffee each morning. The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first" . The husband said, "You should do it you are in charge of cooking, Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is the Bible that the man should brew. " Husband replies, "I can’t believe that," So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and sure it was there at the top of several pages, "Hebrew" it said indeed.
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What Bill Gates' wife says
to him when they make love? What is the
worst thing that can happen to a bat while it sleeps? (they ate sleeping upside down) Two Cubans,
a father and his son, immigrating to America. Two
policemen are in a patrol car: A policeman
comes to the office with one black shoe and one white shoe. His boss
starts to yell at him:
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